Saturday, June 2, 2012

Jargoned


Drill down, Vesting period, Fox News, Matrix management, Payroll orphans, Right sized, Significant Rigor.
 

Getting a jargoned communication is the last thing anyone would like; especially when you really wanted to get what is being said. It is not, that I have something against the articulate class of people. I do respect their ability to remember the oxford dictionary, but what is the point of all these “Honorificabilitudinitatibus” if you can’t convey anything?

Love them, hate them, but you can never ignore them? Can you? The triumphant smile on the face of every Jargoneer is not unknown to us.  For him a speech isn’t complete if he fails to take aback the listeners by his mind blowing vocabulary.
When the phrase “provide details” makes more sense than “break it down”, or when the word “reduce” makes more sense than the phrase “clamp down” , then, why are we running behind these gimmicks? Are we forgetting the sole purpose of all the communication theories developed over time?

The question is; couldn’t the language be a lot simpler without them. It’s true that scientific and technical terms cannot be moulded in lay man’s language, but what about jargons in management? In a field where the interpersonal communication is given so much importance; why end up in a verbal diarrhea?

Let us try to observe the evolution of a Jargoneer through Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

The Jargoneer like most of us would start off by using the language for his or her existence. This is the early stage of evolution where he somehow struggles out of the maze in good life. Then the situation will get little more complex where language is used for his safety (As a defense) rather than for meager survival. Here the language becomes a tool and helps him to win the verbal combat over others. Then comes the phase when he falls in love with the language. Language becomes his friend, family and moreover something, that he


loves to be with. Love gives way to esteem and language becomes his confidence. He is respected for his eloquence. Then esteem gives way to the most dangerous form of them all, self actualization, where neither he gets to know what he speaks nor do we. Where, his or her articulacy gets gibberish. At least they sound like gibberish. Here the sender sends the information but there would not be any meaningful decryption at the receiver’s end and a feedback is usually numb. The purpose of communication gets tampered in due course and we will never get to know what he really meant to say at the first place. In short, communication gets jarred and the listener gets gunned. Now what the listener would have in front of him is none other than   the jargoned communication.



Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Adios Amigo..!!

Only two months more and we ll be forced to join the rat race...The world is ending, at least for us... We wont be students anymore ...!!

Not being students comes with a lot of side effects ...for instance we cant sit inside our home like before, there ll be a pakathu veetu Mami who ll come for sugar (Old News :|) and ask...didn't get placed ? Its easy to question somebody but have you ever tried to be in our shoes? Its pretty hard to make up an answer every time :P

The college was like Hogwarts...yea we had our own bi**hes oops witches :P the former will be more true :| The only difference is that we didn't had a Harry Potter all were running their own versions of You Know Who.. :P


The class was like the salad  ...we were 48 individuals with nothing in common...The first two days were like a nightmare...there would be 48 different opinions for every thing...And as the law of nature the first week was all about who ll be the star of the show :P The attention seekers were having a gala time ... :|


Did i mention the show also had jokers ? :P Ah and there were Mr Know it all's !! Totally the college was a big hype :P Like a Ram Gopal Varma film :P No content but all controversies :


First semester was a like a maze ..a cloud of confusion all were behind making friends...!! I am not sure if all were successful...The term saw many great friendships being made and many house of cards coming down..!!

By the second semester we all got the real taste of the institute :P Sheer ignorance :P We were like some refugees in that campus. We were looked down as something that should never had happened :| By the end of the semester we were a class of 12,13,4,5 ... etc :P The class no more had a  single voice...!!

Our Mam always say we behave like Arts college students ...we lack professionalism..!! Correction Mam we were not behaving like Arts college students...the institute was :P Even if we try to  fit a  lion in to a kennel :P It ll be still called a kennel  :P


The third semester was the funniest of all...!! We were told to do our mini and major project back to back..!! :o I  still don't get their idea ? We are supposed to learn deeply about our specializations in the third semester but instead we were kicked out into a mess ...!! It was like asking a psychiatrist to do a bypass surgery :P Ultimately we all ended up digging a big hole for ourselves :P ...Our project reports were nothing but a finely bound piece of crap ...

Oh in between we had a tour...an Industrial visit to be exact...and i don't remember a thing :P

And the last and final semester...!! "Big Grin" All's well that ends well...I hope, even if our journey was a mess the ending would be a happizzzz endingzzzzz ...:D


PS :Did i mention about our placement cell ? Oops Its still in its embryonic stage sorry for calling it as a cell :P

Thursday, April 12, 2012

An Eulogy...!! :P

 To whomsoever it may concern: D


I know its a bit early to write this but I don’t have the patience till somebody kill you or until some miracle happen and God decides to spare us from the trouble :P Yeah I know some things wont leave you that easily,especially when its something bad like you :P 

I should say you have that charm to make a yes to no and a no to yes...We may be way intelligent than you but you know how to make us feel stupid...!! Ah and I regret all those conversations which I had with you in these two years...And I am not an emotional fool unlike...  what you think ..!! And I swear there is a company called  Apple :P

You are the lifeline which no one would ever take in KBC :P And seriously I never used to get your jokes but still I laughed :P I pray for all those in heaven or hell who have to bear you ...My Sympathies for them :|

You are an inspiration for all of us... really... we learned how one should not be like...how one should not give hollow promises ...how one should not belittle everything and ..everyone...Thank you for coming in to our life and teaching us this great lesson:P Ah i wanted to make it short and simple...Adios :P

Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Syllabus reader !!

The most awaited subject of the semester...first class....sounds exciting isn’t it...We all were pretty excited and were eagerly looking forward to Mr. X who was regarded as the "best- est." in the college...at least the way he carries himself makes us feel like he is something :P

Ah but as the saying goes Appearances are always deceptive... Mr. X came to the class and took a paper proudly from his pocket...yea he finally took the rabbit out of the hat :| "THE SYLLABUS" ...He read out loudly the first unit...Okay sir we all have a copy ...teach us something...now!! After finishing the first unit proudly... he carried on with the second unit then third, fourth, fifth...and the bell rang...!! Okay may be this is the way he likes to start his class...or at least lets hope so..!! :| And the following classes were a Ctrl+ C Ctrl +V event ...The rabbit is all what we got to see..!!

Now the same trick every time makes the show boring so for a twist at last we asked him to teach us something....!! :P (A very bad request to be made to a syllabus reader) The illusionist was like all prepared for this and the next class.

If you don't know to write an essay about a cow just tie it to the coconut tree and write about coconut tree :P Mr. X started with the syllabus as usual and for our surprise he had another rabbit in his hand...a text book :o "At last” we thought ...But we were wrong...the dog and its tail :| !! He opened the text but didn't read a single line, instead he started "We need to have a vision in our life and you people lack it...MBA isn't about coming to college late and leaving early you need to make productive use of your time.." Now who is wasting it:P
After the exam Mr X triumphantly came to us and said "See the question paper is designed in the same sequence that we learned " What ? :o Well yeah you are right.. they prepared the question paper according to the syllabus :P

Moral of the story is there are people who get in to positions which they don't deserve and its our bad luck that we have to face them at every nook and corner of our life...these Tom Dick and Harry's are born to eat our brain ...so its better to act dumb in front of them :P even if our heart yearns to say

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

A letter that went nowhere...!!



Hi Sir

The last 12 days has been very challenging for us. What we learnt in these days was that, triumph comes with a cost and yeah we can learn only through failures. We learned that whatever Philip Kotler has quoted in the bible of marketing entirely differs to what we get to see in real. We learnt that to sell something, the first thing which we have to do is to buy the same. And yes, we have learned to embrace failure and it changed our attitude of taking everything for granted. We also learned that even if the effort put in is 200%, the chances of getting the desired results are slim but perseverance should be our mantra.

The experience was worth a lifetime. We got to know the real time market and the way it runs. We got to experience the challenges faced by our peers who are in the field.
We are happy to inform you that all together we got 18 orders. It was quiet a difficult task for some of us to get the desired number of orders due to the area to which we were allotted. The market is currently busy with the festival season sales. The shop keepers were finding it difficult to share their time with us. This was one of the greatest constraints. And in most of the scenarios the authority to which we are supposed to talk was out of station. And again the @##$#$# which was given free with The @#@#@ gave us a tough time. But we were successful to tackle it to an extent. We kindly request and appreciate it if we could get certificates for this internship as it would be a great asset for us in our resume and quite a thing to brag about. We hope our efforts would be given the due recognition.
Thanking you once again for this wonderful opportunity.

Thank You